devientstarlite

This Was Totally Unexpected

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:21:27 GMT

I really dont think i have gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night since last May and i'm so mentally and physcially tired. Theres a lot on my mind i guess that i'm resorting to this considering i havent used this in months, but for some reason i felt a need to write my thoughts down. i just opened livejournal b.c i was bored and realized i had forgotten all about it. i feel like i am so wrapped up in my life that i dont even have the time to vent anymore. thats what got me to thinking....i was just reading crystals journal and cops are really the most ridiculous people on earth!!,and because of them i have become paraniod of driving anywhere after 10:00 at night...it actually has gotten to the point where on concentrating so much of the speed im going and if it appears im swurving or not that i freak out and get so nervous that i actually start to do those things. Also ive been pulled over on sunrise highway multiple times at early morning hours..luckily i have gotten off with a warning each time. It's not like im drinking and driving or on drugs im totally sober when i get paranoid. I really don't know why..I think im going out of my mind.I have also realized lately that i've become more angry at everyone and depressed i haven't felt like this since high school it feels so weird to want to go back into old habits to smoke pot and drink my life away. I know i won't actually do it, but it seems like a good option right now. So...i was also thinking i need a physcologist i'm convinced that it would help me somehow, someway..if i could explain why, i would, it's just too embarassing to write in a public journal. I've just become so distant and closed off from everyone that its begining to take it toll on me. I miss my friends..i know i could call them all and hangout with them, but it just feels like i haven't seen them in so long that it wouldn't be the same anymore (by the why i really hope im not offending anyone by that). i miss u all so much, but i just don't know how to start to get back into the "friend scene". ok i think this have been by far the most lengthy entry i have ever written... I think im going to stop there.. i just dont have the energy to keep on writting..

It Feels Good....

Tue, 09 May 2006 02:21:11 GMT

I feel the intense sadness washing over me
I can feel it now
Can u feel it now?

Please kill this once more
This pain isn’t worth the fight
Failing is what I do best
Let it take over
Let it take me over

This dream I once had is fading
Bring it back
What happened to those unbelievable nights
Those even better days?
Why did you have to leave?

Your beautiful and sharp
Is it better?
Are you better?

Who am I ?
Who have I become?
Did I ever really know me?

I want you so badly
I can taste you
You were my only way out
The only survival I have ever known

How can I live without you?
How do I learn to live without you?
I wonder what it feels like
I wish I could feel it

So close to me now
I can taste you again
You are sweet and metallic
I miss you
You got rid of the pain
Come back to me
I need your guidance your cruel strength
Why did you leave me?

The Rope Has Been Cut.
I Have Stepped Outside and Just Taken My First Breath…..
I’m Starting Over....

...And She Could Take Your Life With One Good Kiss

Mon, 01 May 2006 04:08:31 GMT

It's been so nicccee out lately summer is coming and I can't wait!!! im sooo excited i only have 2 weeks left of school and im doing pretty well which is good compared to my last 2 semesters....so yea i've been lacking in the physical activity dept and i wanna get out and do something...Softball??? Tennis???..anyone??? let me know...we'll make planssss....THAT IS ALL...

Im Out Like A Fat Kid In DodgeBall!
PEEAAACCCEEEEE

AAARRRGGGHHH

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 15:33:27 GMT

MY SPRING BREAK HAS REALLY BEEN SUCKING......

Enough Said....

So...Yea I'm Kind Of A Big Deal...

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 19:08:57 GMT

Ok soooo spring break is less then a week away and im soo super excited.... my acting professor asked me to be in his play that i didnt audition for ahha ....and he asked me if i could play the 7 year old boy. He said he meant that in the best way possible and didnt want me to feel offended and that he thinks i could do a really good job... ok well.... what do u think i should do? should i really take the part? i mean it sounds really interesting and challenging because ill be playing a role that i am soo far from..but im not sure..i think i may ....

until then,....
stay classy amityille....

WooHoo

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 20:14:15 GMT

I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT WITH 2 COUNT THEM 2 YES,....2 OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!

YOU KNOW WHY????????

CUZ WERE FROM FUCKIN AMITYVILLE
ps:Dont Question My ART WORK!!!

eerrmmm

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 23:07:48 GMT

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	one of a kind

Quiz created with MemeGen!

ARRGGHH

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 22:54:12 GMT

I dunno lately shit has been going pretty bad. Besides from the few friends i have that make me pretty happy I have realized that old shit always comes back to bite me in the ass. I've been in the worst moods lately it could be just pms but i highly doubt it. The only good thing so far is that i have a new boyfriend hes amazing and he treats me really well....i really care about him alot<33. I feel like my feelings and moods are messing things up, I sure hope not cuz I like this relationship alot. I have been under alot of stress lately and im in poor health someone pray things get better for me....until then I'll be waiting...

No Day, But Today

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 03:07:19 GMT

........I GOT A NEW JOB FINALLY...WOOHOO

WOOHOO

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 04:57:15 GMT

I Have Live Journal!!!