urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite devientstarlite devientstarlite 2006-11-30T07:21:27Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:2640 2006-11-30T07:21:27Z 2006-11-30T07:21:27Z Nothing just dead silence I really dont think i have gotten more than 4 hours of sleep a night since last May and i'm so mentally and physcially tired. Theres a lot on my mind i guess that i'm resorting to this considering i havent used this in months, but for some reason i felt a need to write my thoughts down. i just opened livejournal b.c i was bored and realized i had forgotten all about it. i feel like i am so wrapped up in my life that i dont even have the time to vent anymore. thats what got me to thinking....i was just reading crystals journal and cops are really the most ridiculous people on earth!!,and because of them i have become paraniod of driving anywhere after 10:00 at night...it actually has gotten to the point where on concentrating so much of the speed im going and if it appears im swurving or not that i freak out and get so nervous that i actually start to do those things. Also ive been pulled over on sunrise highway multiple times at early morning hours..luckily i have gotten off with a warning each time. It's not like im drinking and driving or on drugs im totally sober when i get paranoid. I really don't know why..I think im going out of my mind.I have also realized lately that i've become more angry at everyone and depressed i haven't felt like this since high school it feels so weird to want to go back into old habits to smoke pot and drink my life away. I know i won't actually do it, but it seems like a good option right now. So...i was also thinking i need a physcologist i'm convinced that it would help me somehow, someway..if i could explain why, i would, it's just too embarassing to write in a public journal. I've just become so distant and closed off from everyone that its begining to take it toll on me. I miss my friends..i know i could call them all and hangout with them, but it just feels like i haven't seen them in so long that it wouldn't be the same anymore (by the why i really hope im not offending anyone by that). i miss u all so much, but i just don't know how to start to get back into the "friend scene". ok i think this have been by far the most lengthy entry i have ever written... I think im going to stop there.. i just dont have the energy to keep on writting.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:2394 2006-05-09T02:21:11Z 2006-05-09T02:21:11Z Say Anything-She Got Away I feel the intense sadness washing over me<br />I can feel it now<br />Can u feel it now?<br /><br />Please kill this once more <br />This pain isn’t worth the fight <br />Failing is what I do best <br />Let it take over<br />Let it take me over <br /><br />This dream I once had is fading <br />Bring it back <br />What happened to those unbelievable nights <br />Those even better days?<br />Why did you have to leave? <br /><br />Your beautiful and sharp <br />Is it better?<br />Are you better? <br /><br />Who am I ?<br />Who have I become?<br />Did I ever really know me?<br /><br />I want you so badly<br />I can taste you <br />You were my only way out<br />The only survival I have ever known <br /><br />How can I live without you? <br />How do I learn to live without you?<br />I wonder what it feels like <br />I wish I could feel it <br /><br />So close to me now<br />I can taste you again<br />You are sweet and metallic <br />I miss you <br />You got rid of the pain <br />Come back to me <br />I need your guidance your cruel strength<br />Why did you leave me?<br /><br />The Rope Has Been Cut.<br />I Have Stepped Outside and Just Taken My First Breath…..<br />I’m Starting Over.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:2179 2006-05-01T04:08:31Z 2006-05-01T04:08:31Z Thrice-Red Sky It's been so nicccee out lately summer is coming and I can't wait!!! im sooo excited i only have 2 weeks left of school and im doing pretty well which is good compared to my last 2 semesters....so yea i've been lacking in the physical activity dept and i wanna get out and do something...Softball??? Tennis???..anyone??? let me know...we'll make planssss....THAT IS ALL...<br /><br /><br />Im Out Like A Fat Kid In DodgeBall!<br />PEEAAACCCEEEEE urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:1984 2006-04-14T15:33:27Z 2006-04-14T15:33:27Z Movie: The Craft MY SPRING BREAK HAS REALLY BEEN SUCKING......<br /><br />Enough Said.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:1594 2006-04-05T19:08:57Z 2006-04-05T19:08:57Z Yo Mamma Ok soooo spring break is less then a week away and im soo super excited.... my acting professor asked me to be in his play that i didnt audition for ahha ....and he asked me if i could play the 7 year old boy. He said he meant that in the best way possible and didnt want me to feel offended and that he thinks i could do a really good job... ok well.... what do u think i should do? should i really take the part? i mean it sounds really interesting and challenging because ill be playing a role that i am soo far from..but im not sure..i think i may .... <br /><br /><br />until then,....<br />stay classy amityille.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:1340 2006-03-12T20:14:15Z 2006-03-12T20:14:15Z YO MOMMA I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT WITH 2 COUNT THEM 2 YES,....2 OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!<br /><br /><br />YOU KNOW WHY????????<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />CUZ WERE FROM FUCKIN AMITYVILLE<br />ps:Dont Question My ART WORK!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:1191 2006-03-08T23:07:48Z 2006-03-08T23:07:48Z T.V.-Parental Control <form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?meme=1074662660" method="POST"><table style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">Your love is... by <a href="http://hometown.aol.com/yoyogirl8910/myhomepage/index.html"><font color="#DDDD88">ChibiMarronchan</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your name is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Your name is..." value="Cortney" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your kiss is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">erotic</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your hugs are...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">friendly</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your eyes...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">burn into my heart</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your touch is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">the only thing I desire</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your smell is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">exotic</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your smile is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">hypnotising</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your love is...</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">one of a kind</span></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF"><a href="http://memegen.net/"><font color="#DDDD88">Quiz created with MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></table><input type="hidden" name="un" value="ChibiMarronchan"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1074662660"></form> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:848 2006-03-08T22:54:12Z 2006-03-08T22:54:12Z Led Zepplin-Whole Lotta Love I dunno lately shit has been going pretty bad. Besides from the few friends i have that make me pretty happy I have realized that old shit always comes back to bite me in the ass. I've been in the worst moods lately it could be just pms but i highly doubt it. The only good thing so far is that i have a new boyfriend hes amazing and he treats me really well....i really care about him alot&lt;33. I feel like my feelings and moods are messing things up, I sure hope not cuz I like this relationship alot. I have been under alot of stress lately and im in poor health someone pray things get better for me....until then I'll be waiting... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:515 2006-03-07T03:07:19Z 2006-03-07T03:07:19Z Cartel-A ........I GOT A NEW JOB FINALLY...WOOHOO urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:devientstarlite:259 2006-03-06T04:57:15Z 2006-03-06T04:57:15Z ...C-egglinger piece yo I Have Live Journal!!!